I never knew His love until I knew this love -Sarah Hart

Thursday, September 23, 2010


I've always had a hard time with goodbyes. Even if I know it's not for long I just don't want to say it. For example, when I go visit my grandmother in Indiana and it comes time to leave I say goodbye, get in the car and tear up every time. I just don't do well with saying goodbye whether it be to people or just a time in my life coming to an end.......

To Mollie's first year,
you will always hold a special place in my heart. When I look back on all the years of my life I will remember this one as the most defining. You introduced me to my precious baby. This year, I held my daughter in my arms for the first time. I watched her Daddy hold her for the first time. I saw her smile for the first time. I heard her laugh and babble. I watched as she sat for the first time all by herself. I saw her first little teeth and watched her crawl for the first time. I cuddled in the mornings with her and rocked her to sleep at night. I've gotten to form an unbreakable bond with her over this first year of her life. This year I became a mother.

You've brought more joy to my life than I ever thought possible. In fact, it's been so wonderful, I don't want it to end. I'm just not ready to let you go yet. I want to hang on tight and keep things as they are. I want my baby to remain just that.....a baby. But I know it's time to move on. As wonderful as all the firsts have been this year I know there are many more to come. After all, this is a part of life and if I don't let you go then I'll never get to experience what's yet to come! Next year I'll get to see Mollie take her first steps, hear her first words, feel her little arms around my neck. Maybe I'll even hear the words I love you. Who knows? But all this means that our relationship is coming to an end.

In one week you, Mollie's first year, will be over and it will be the start of a new one. I hope the end of every year isn't as hard as this one is for me but I imagine they will be in their own way. Every past year will have their own set of firsts and wonderful experiences with my daughter. And every new year will hold the hope of new things to come. Somehow I think that you will be the most special however. I thank you so much for all you've given me. Thank you for bringing me my precious little girl and all the adventures that come along with it. Thank you for making me a mommy. I'm going to hate to see you go but know that I will always remember you with fondness and gratitude but probably a few tears too. Even as I write this I'm tearing up. But I have to say it.........to Mollie's first year....goodbye.